Firery Rants

by Brian on 2/7/2005

So fine… I’ll admit it. Nathan has been saying something that really pisses me off. I can’t stand it. So I must use this blog entry to vent.

I just can’t stand it when he says things like:

“It’s not about me.. It’s not about us… That Plunge is not a Christian club for Christians, and so on…”

I am confessing that inside of me this convicts me. That there is a part of me that wishes so much that my needs could be filled by christian friends. Honestly, I have that feeling inside of me. Like, oh… the church could give me the friends that I don’t have in life. That it could take away my loneliness. Give me the bread that I so very desire. The filling social life that I never had in high school. To be loved. Those words that Nathan says makes me feel unwelcome at Plunge. That I don’t belong there. Sometimes I even feel that I would be more popular if I was a non-believer.

I am convicted, but not crushed.

I’m not crushed because I know that while this may not be the desire of the church, I do know that it is God’s passion to look after all my needs, to hold me and love me. And I know it very well. Yet, I do admit that there is this leftover carnal fleshiness that still bites me now and then, hence why I feel convicted. However, I am growing out of my skin.

Tonight I was asked if I wanted to join a bible study with ten other good Christian guys. To be honest, I find the idea very unappealing. I know that in the past I really can’t stand those things–Christians guys have a tendency of saying a lot of stupid stuff when you put a bunch of them in the same room. Maybe that’s why I don’t talk that much. :)

But why should I have fellowship with a bunch of christian guys? So I should become more spiritual? Because I don’t have enough spiritual intake? Why should I go to every Christian gathering there is, like LUCF, Plunge, Higher Grounds, etc.? I remember an old youth pastor of mine use to tell me that churchgoers can easily become spiritually fat, that we take in so much, but never give out.

Maybe there really is some kind of new way to be a Christian. Maybe I’m just some kind of smaller dot while the church is a bigger circle, and the world is really an enormous sphere.

So the church should be focused on the seeker rather than the believer. That sounds alright to me. But there is one question that sort of nags at me…

Am I really that different from a seeker?

(oh, and by the way… I’m not really “pissed off” at Nathan. I just introduced my blog like that to grab attention.)

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  2. Playing With Fire
  3. Dousing the flames
  • Victoria

    No offense Brian but you say dumb stuff even when ur not around
    a bunch of christian guys, and yes its great that many of us that
    go to plunge and all the other christian events are christians
    (big surprise) we can never take in enough I find but we should
    also give as well as much as possible so we do not become to
    spiritually “fat”! Yes many christians go to christian events to
    learn and grow and let what was said have an impact on the way we
    live our daily lives, thats just it its should have an affect effect?
    on our daily lives and how we treat everyone around us and hopefully what
    we have learned will have a positive effect on the people around us
    and let them know we are not just the sterotype christians like
    Ned Flanders off the Simpsons. Just because we may know lots of
    stuff about God and Jesus and getting more (theological)?
    doesn’t mean we have to just know the facts and stop there we have
    to teach others and not let all of our knowledge get to our heads
    we need to be there for people love people as Christ loves them and
    introduce others to Christ. We need to put into practice what we
    have learned from all those Christian meetings and Bible studies
    and helping out with different Christian events into our daily
    lives. There is the whole world to reach and you can do that at the
    same time as learning, While I’m at Dorion working and I learn from
    devotions and prayer meetings and everything else I let those
    things impact my daily life and then at the same time witness
    to the campers. Or at tribe I’m learning from the speaker at the same
    time the kids are and I try as soon as possible to help the kids
    understand and put what I’ve learned from volunteering at tribe into
    practice so I can witness to the kids better. There is so much time,
    like we have a joke that I’m multi-tasked, remember? This is what I
    would call being multi-tasked. This might sound really harsh and
    mean and sounds like I’m saying I’m really good at doing this kinda
    thing, but I’m not I sometimes forget that it’s not all about me,
    and I wanna go to these things to make new friends but I have to
    remember that it’s not all about me it’s about learning yes and to a
    point making friends but also growing with them and learning with
    them and witnessing to others and not getting spiritually “fat”
    and helping others to grow and praying for people and loving people
    over everything else. And I hope that helps answer a few questions
    for people and all I’m saying is it’s not all about us, which sux for
    many people cause I know thats what humans think of most of the time,
    and I know its a harsh reality to face, but I just hope everyone
    learns that sooner rather than later. And I hope I at least made some
    sense!

  • Victoria

    No offense Brian but you say dumb stuff even when ur not around
    a bunch of christian guys, and yes its great that many of us that
    go to plunge and all the other christian events are christians
    (big surprise) we can never take in enough I find but we should
    also give as well as much as possible so we do not become to
    spiritually “fat”! Yes many christians go to christian events to
    learn and grow and let what was said have an impact on the way we
    live our daily lives, thats just it its should have an affect effect?
    on our daily lives and how we treat everyone around us and hopefully what
    we have learned will have a positive effect on the people around us
    and let them know we are not just the sterotype christians like
    Ned Flanders off the Simpsons. Just because we may know lots of
    stuff about God and Jesus and getting more (theological)?
    doesn’t mean we have to just know the facts and stop there we have
    to teach others and not let all of our knowledge get to our heads
    we need to be there for people love people as Christ loves them and
    introduce others to Christ. We need to put into practice what we
    have learned from all those Christian meetings and Bible studies
    and helping out with different Christian events into our daily
    lives. There is the whole world to reach and you can do that at the
    same time as learning, While I’m at Dorion working and I learn from
    devotions and prayer meetings and everything else I let those
    things impact my daily life and then at the same time witness
    to the campers. Or at tribe I’m learning from the speaker at the same
    time the kids are and I try as soon as possible to help the kids
    understand and put what I’ve learned from volunteering at tribe into
    practice so I can witness to the kids better. There is so much time,
    like we have a joke that I’m multi-tasked, remember? This is what I
    would call being multi-tasked. This might sound really harsh and
    mean and sounds like I’m saying I’m really good at doing this kinda
    thing, but I’m not I sometimes forget that it’s not all about me,
    and I wanna go to these things to make new friends but I have to
    remember that it’s not all about me it’s about learning yes and to a
    point making friends but also growing with them and learning with
    them and witnessing to others and not getting spiritually “fat”
    and helping others to grow and praying for people and loving people
    over everything else. And I hope that helps answer a few questions
    for people and all I’m saying is it’s not all about us, which sux for
    many people cause I know thats what humans think of most of the time,
    and I know its a harsh reality to face, but I just hope everyone
    learns that sooner rather than later. And I hope I at least made some
    sense!

  • http://plunge.mindsay.com Nathan

    So, I guess I should respond since I am the one who caused the “pissed off” condition to be in effect. Do I think you have needs that must be met? Yes. Do I think that your needs will be met in a church setting, particularily Plunge? Most of them. Do I think that you are as important to the fabric of who our community at Plunge is? Yes. Do I think about you more than the “seeker” when I’m putting together our service? Yes. Do I think we can get caught up in the whole “meet my needs” mentality and forget that we exist to see the kingdom expand? Most certainly.

    I dedicated the first 10 years of my life to learning how to communicate and take care of myself in this world. I dedicated the next 10 years of my life to getting what I could get out of life and basically trying to have the best life I could have for myself. I have dedicated the last 10 years of my life to serving others in whatever ways I can. I would say that my needs have been met more in the last 10 years I have spent focused on others, than the 20 years I spent focused on me. Funny how God works that way. Rob wrote in a bulletin insert asking for Guides the line “To really live, you must give.” There’s a lot of wisdom there. I almost think that God witholds some of his “need meeting” until we begin to truly understand that it’s not about us. I think that’s the most counter cultural phrase I utter on a regular basis, because everything around us argues that it si about us. It’s so deeply engrained in us that it’s bound to bring feelings of frustration to the surface. True freedom comes with the understanding that I’m not really the center of all that’s around me. There’s a bulletin board I read frequently that usually has stuff on it that I think hurts the kingdom, but this week’s isn’t so bad: “True humilty is not thinking less of yourself; it’s thinking of yourself less.”

    Now don’t get me wrong Brian. One of the things I love so much about you is that you’re the last person I would call proud, and certainly the last one I would call self-centered. You are giving, loving, caring and warm, and those are all qualities I admire, but I think there’s still a little baggage that cries out for attention. There’s a voice that says, but what about me? What about bible study? What about all the stuff that’s supposed to be church?

    Here’s a thought: what if our needs arent’ all meant to be met yet? What if it’s all a little bit of delayed gratification? What if God is saying, “Don’t worry about it too much. I’ll take care of those needs when you get here with me. For now there’s still so many who haven’t even had there most pressing need met…they still need me!”

    Looking forward to lunch :)

  • http://plunge.mindsay.com Nathan

    So, I guess I should respond since I am the one who caused the “pissed off” condition to be in effect. Do I think you have needs that must be met? Yes. Do I think that your needs will be met in a church setting, particularily Plunge? Most of them. Do I think that you are as important to the fabric of who our community at Plunge is? Yes. Do I think about you more than the “seeker” when I’m putting together our service? Yes. Do I think we can get caught up in the whole “meet my needs” mentality and forget that we exist to see the kingdom expand? Most certainly.

    I dedicated the first 10 years of my life to learning how to communicate and take care of myself in this world. I dedicated the next 10 years of my life to getting what I could get out of life and basically trying to have the best life I could have for myself. I have dedicated the last 10 years of my life to serving others in whatever ways I can. I would say that my needs have been met more in the last 10 years I have spent focused on others, than the 20 years I spent focused on me. Funny how God works that way. Rob wrote in a bulletin insert asking for Guides the line “To really live, you must give.” There’s a lot of wisdom there. I almost think that God witholds some of his “need meeting” until we begin to truly understand that it’s not about us. I think that’s the most counter cultural phrase I utter on a regular basis, because everything around us argues that it si about us. It’s so deeply engrained in us that it’s bound to bring feelings of frustration to the surface. True freedom comes with the understanding that I’m not really the center of all that’s around me. There’s a bulletin board I read frequently that usually has stuff on it that I think hurts the kingdom, but this week’s isn’t so bad: “True humilty is not thinking less of yourself; it’s thinking of yourself less.”

    Now don’t get me wrong Brian. One of the things I love so much about you is that you’re the last person I would call proud, and certainly the last one I would call self-centered. You are giving, loving, caring and warm, and those are all qualities I admire, but I think there’s still a little baggage that cries out for attention. There’s a voice that says, but what about me? What about bible study? What about all the stuff that’s supposed to be church?

    Here’s a thought: what if our needs arent’ all meant to be met yet? What if it’s all a little bit of delayed gratification? What if God is saying, “Don’t worry about it too much. I’ll take care of those needs when you get here with me. For now there’s still so many who haven’t even had there most pressing need met…they still need me!”

    Looking forward to lunch :)

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