So after the Higher Grounds study tonight we all went to Tim Hortons. It really was a good time of fellowship, and I enjoyed it very much, especially since I spent a lot of these past two weeks cooped up studying for midterms. This kind of community really takes away all the anxiety and “stress” that I feel. It makes me full of energy.
Nathan asked me about the comment I made about bible college, so maybe I’ll post it again, but maybe rephrase it a little. I mentioned how sometimes (now I’m going to emphasize sometimes) I wake up in the morning to go to school, and it feels like I’m going to bible college. It feels that way because I feel like this is where God wants me to be. I remember how, at one time or another, I kind of felt like bible college really was were I wanted to be–for some reason in the past I kind of dreaded the idea of going to university. Throughout the years I’ve met people who really can’t stand what their teachers are teaching them in school, be it philosophy, english, whatever, and they can’t stand it for “Christian” reasons. They want to go to bible college to escape this ‘torture.’ But what happens they go to bible college with no real passion, drive, dreams or vision for life. They end up hating it, or don’t really do anything afterwards. They waste money that could have been better spent on things such as feeding hungry children.
I used to really want to go to bible college for this reason, as some kind of escape from the ‘real world,’ but my parents really didn’t want me too. They would let me go afterwards if I wanted too. Now, I think I’ve mentioned this before in previous blogs, but pretty much the reason I felt at peace with going to Lakehead was because of reading Great Expectations, and writing an essay on it for my OAC independent study. My thesis was that, in the story, the characters who experience guilt are the characters who have expectations (Pip, Miss Havisham, Estella) and the characters who do not experience guilt are those with no expectations, i.e. Biddy, Joe… So I figured, why not be a blacksmith and go to Lakehead instead of chasing some fantasy, in my situation, that going to bible college would make me happy in life. I wanted a happy life with a wife, kids, and all those things. You see, the error of my drive was that I thought going to bible college would give me a happy life, which really isn’t much of a drive because bible college, and even Lakehead for that matter, will not give you happiness. God gifted me with this computer, logical, problem solving mind–and yet still my background is still very diverse which makes me incredibly different. I do other things than just sit on a computer and programme: I read and write, play guitar, draw, sing, dance, make a complete fool out of myself… 
In the end it all comes together and makes something beautiful, and I’m not boasting because those rights belong to God who created me; I just boast about the mistakes and crappy things that I do. When I’m studying, developing, and even mastering these gifts that God has given me… I think it’s a form of worship. Feels like that…
I giggle every time I talk to my friend Greg, older programming friend, because he tells me how very happy he is that I decided to enroll in a computer science programme at Lakehead. He sees me as the perfect person for it.
Anyway, when I originally wrote that post with the bible college comment, one of my anonymous friends commented on how she’s in bible college and taking two secular courses there. I don’t think it matters to her though, because there is a passion driving her, and it’s not selfish passion for a happy life.
Wow… I feel much better this time about this topic, so I don’t think I’ll erase it. This post is dedicated to Nathan. 
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