I was a little sneaky yesterday; here’s what I did. For whatever reason unknown to me, my mom has a tendency of leaving romance novels in our minivan, and she conviently leaves them between the driver and front passenger seats. Since Suzie lives not too far from my house I quite frequently give her rides to Red Wood. Once when I picked her up for a Blue Like Jazz discussion group she happened to notice one of the pink romance novels between the two seats. I think her comment might have went something like:
“Brian are you reading romance novels?”
And I might have jokingly replied with something like, “No, I write them.” It was a rather cheesy romance novel too, which had something to do with a brave lover who knew martial arts–something crazy like that.
Anyway, yesterday before church I had an idea. A few weeks ago I bought a copy of Pride and Prejudice, so as I left my house to pick up Suzie, I placed it between the two front seats next to the other novels. Suzie quickly noticed it and laughed. It was a really fun way to start the morning. 
I’ll explain the significance of Pride and Prejudice. In the book Blue Like Jazz there is a chapter, I think it is about romance, commenting on how Pride and Prejudice is the key to a woman’s heart, and that any man who has read that novel will understand how to lovingly care for a girl. The author, Don Miller, keeps a copy of the book on his bookshelf to impress girls who enter his room and look through his books. Don has never actually read Pride and Prejudice, but whenever a girl says, “You have a copy of Pride and Prejudice?!?!?” he can say, “Yes! Yes I do.”
Yesterday, I was chatting with Jason while I was looking at one of the handouts for the chick-flick or Halo night. When I saw the handout I said to Jason that I would much rather see a chick-flick than play Halo. I know that I may be challenging all of my masculinity (I have read way too many literary criticism essays) by saying this, but it’s very true. I also noticed yesterday that I am very bad at purposely trying to be rude and impolite. For example, before Plunge yesterday I hung out with Jamal, and for at most two minutes I decided to be his partner in crime, which is to be as rude and impolite as possible to Carly (the one with glasses who goes to St. Pats). I might have said one thing to her like, “I don’t like you,” but then I was so overwhelmed by a guilty feeling that this is totally not me, and I honestly wanted to apologize to her even though we both understood the context of the remark.
I really can’t stand abraisive people, and this whole North American abraisive culture. It used to annoy the crap out of me when people who are purposely extremely rude to other people all the time. Now, I am a lot more easy going about it, but I will admit that sometimes, it does still get to me. It used to hurt me because I knew that I cannot pretend to be like that, and so I frequently felt like I didn’t fit in with my friends, because I wasn’t the person I felt they expected me to be: a loud, noisy guy who would rather play Halo than watch a chick flick, and who would throw french fries at girls. It is, however, quite easy for me to be unintentially rude to people, and suckingly selfish at times.
I am different than other guys in a lot of ways, but I know that I am not different when it comes to sin, so in that sense I can relate to anyone. I am learning though, that we are a diverse creation, so that as one we can form one super amazing incredible church. Together as loud, serving, loving, leading, outgoing people we form something great.
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