I now believe that I have all that it takes to survive on my own—I can cook Kraft Dinner.
Tomorrow is Canada Day and it seems that people like to mention that in their blogs, so I thought I’d better keep up the trend. It has been a couple of years now since I started going to the marina to watch the fireworks. I started sometime in High School. It was rare that we ever went to watch the fireworks as a family when I was younger. I think that almost every time I went to watch the fireworks I have always gone by myself, well with parents sometimes, but I’d usually do my own thing. I would end up walking around the marina, kind of in circles almost, checking out the various musicians and looking out for people I knew. I would find my friends and almost always they would be in a group. To be honest, I think I only remember seeing one guy out of all the people that I knew who was by himself.
Last year was particularly hard for me, although in spite of what I went through I was blessed by being able to see how much I’ve matured by the Holy Spirit working in me. It was the same thing that I usually go through… but I hate being tough. I remember when the night was over being overwhelmed by tears while I laid in bed. It was good crying; I wasn’t exactly mad at the world or anything. It was one of those times when you let it all out and God is there with you. I think crying is such a great thing, and I can only dream about God’s purpose for giving us the ability to cry.
Canada Day always seems to remind me of how lonely I am. Well, was…
This year seems different. It looks as though I will have a group of friends to hang out with at the marina! Someone handed me a pink invitation to a pre-fireworks bash. That means the world to me! And also before the bash I hope to be able to have coffee with a guy from church, I’m pretty sure it will work out.
I’m sitting right now in a dark and shadowy coffee house, and as I walked into the place I saw three friends of mine sitting together on the couches. They are older friends, well just a little older than me. Two of them are married to each other, and the third person has her new baby next to her—her husband is out doing errands. I know that these people are good friends, and I realized something cool about them just now: they are experiencing life together, and they have been for the last so many years I’ve known them.
In 2 Corinthians Paul writes: “…that we are your boast as you also are ours, in the day of the Lord Jesus.” I’m not exactly sure yet what Paul meant by that but reading it got me thinking. And if my mind remembers correctly Paul has repeated that saying in his other epistles. I think Paul is talking about fellowship with other believers, and I noticed something about the attitude he has. Paul sees himself as an equal to the Corinthians, and not as the doctor who can cure them or their sinful wickedness—maybe he can help to convict them, but I don’t think that he believes that he is their cure. We always like to lift Paul up as a super Christian, or the first Pope of the church. I think that if Paul were to walk on this earth right now he would be not much different from you and me, and he would be living life with us.
“For our boasting is this: the testimony of our conscience that we conducted ourselves in the world in simplicity and godly sincerity, not with fleshly wisdom but by the grace of God, and more abundantly toward you.”
Thinking of fellowship reminded me of Leaders’ Camp last year. My small group was awesome and we had a lot of good times together. I remember that there was only one girl in our group, so after a short while we started to call her mom because she kind of was the leader and the smart one out of all of us. I will always remember that weekend for a long time because I think it’s an awesome picture of fellowship, even though it was just a weekend. This is the kind of fellowship that I would like to see developing in my everyday life; I pray that it will. I have a church family now with people I can connect with—lots of people. I think that just by spending time with people I will be able to connect with them quite easily. It’s like what Don Miller said in Blue Like Jazz, that we become used to people by being around them. I like the story he tells about the park ranger:
“[The park ranger] was lonely. He was alone and going nuts.
“He had forgotten how to engage people. I asked him how long he had been at Jeff Park. Two month he said. Two month, I asked, all by yourself? Yeah, he said and smiled. That’ a long time to be alone, I told him. Well, he said to me, this conversation has worn me out. He put his hands in his pocket and smiled again. He looked out in the distance and stretched his neck to look at the stars.
“’Do believe I will head back to camp,’ he said. He didn’t say good-bye. He walked down the little hill and into the darkness.” –Blue Like Jazz
There are numerous times when I’m around people where I’ve felt like the park ranger, not having a clue about how to engage them. But I believe that as I start to spend more and more time with interacting with people I will quickly change. And I think the cool thing will be that I will start to develop my own kind of way of relating to people and sharing with them. Actually, I remember for the few months I worked at Staples as a sales associate, over time I started to get used to talking to strangers. Sometimes I’d be off work, or shopping in another store and I would find myself initiating conversations with strangers who’d happen to be around me. That was the one thing I really liked about that job, but it seems that if you don’t keep interacting with people like that you start to loose the freedom and you get caught up in your own bubble again.
Father I pray that you’ll help me to experience life in You with others.
It’s easy to do anything when you have an intense love for Jesus burning inside you.
No related posts.